How to Overcome Shyness :7 Easy Ways to Boost Self Confidence (FAQ's Answered)

How to Overcome Shyness: Are you Shy? Then Do not worry because this article will help you to overcome your shyness. In this article, we will be sharing 7 Easy Ways to Boost Self Confidence. After reading this post, I guarantee you that after reading this post you will stop being shy. We have also answered some Frequently Asked Questions.

How to Overcome Shyness

According to a recent study, these two conditions make people feel shy.

  • Experience 
  • Environment

Most people feel shy because they may have witnessed some sort of experience where all others made fun of them. And if you also feel shy then try to remember that experience. I know it can be tough to remember it but you will have to forget those memories. Write down that experience on a piece of paper and tear it or burn it.

I know it sounds a bit 
"movie style" thing but it works.

The environment also plays an important role in this case. Have you ever noticed that you do not feel shy every time? You do not feel shy when you are talking to your parents. You do not feel shy when you are talking to your sister or brother. Also, you do not feel shy when you are talking to your best friend.


It's because you do not have a fear that these people will make fun of me in front of others. You trust them. Their faces are Familiar to You. Then why will you feel shy talking to them?

You only feel shy when you meet specific people or new people. And don't worry, because this article will surely help you to overcome your shyness.

But, before moving on, we will be discussing some FAQ's related to Shyness that I bet you have in your mind.


How to Overcome Shyness

What Causes a Person to be Shy?

The Main root cause of Shyness is Fear. This fear can also be generated by past experiences. Shyness is a feeling of awkwardness and fear that an individual feels whenever he/she wants to talk to the people around them. But, Sadly in most cases, they are unable to talk to them because of this Fear. Also, note here that you are not Shy!

Yes, you read it right. Actually, we only tend to be shy in front of certain people. For Eg: You do not feel shy in front of your mother father, sister, brother or friends. You feel shy when you are talking to new people or you think that the other person may embarrass me in front of my friends etc. So, these are some causes of Shyness.

Is Shyness a Weakness?

If you would ask this question a few decades back, then my answer would be no. But, in this social and modern era, one should not be shy. So, yes, Shyness is a weakness.

But, don't worry. It is not a problem or a disease. It's just your mind. You can control that with the help of the tips that you will read in this article. Shyness is a weakness because nowadays people do not want to talk to those kinds of individuals who do not take part in group gatherings, parties, etc. 

This is a Social Age. Everyone wants to communicate with you and they want to know you. But, if you will keep running away from them and you will not improve your communication skill, then it might be a weakness. It can show that you are lacking Self Confidence. It can also reflect on your job meetings and your presentations.

On the whole, it can ruin some pretty important stuff for you.

If I am Shy, then does that mean that I am an Introvert?

Being shy and being an introvert is two different things. As I said, Shyness is not a characteristic but it is a feeling that only arise in front of selected people and situations.

Being an Introvert means that you do not want to talk to anyone. You enjoy your own company. But feeling Shy means that you want to talk to new people and even your friends but you are not able to, maybe due to your negative experiences controlling your mind.

How to Overcome Shyness at School?

Many of you reading his post might be a student. Well, I have a power tip to overcome shyness at school.
Don't try to get over attention on yourself or it can make the matter worse. How you will get extra unwanted attention?

Maybe you will come late to the class when the teacher has already begun the lecture. Or you laughed when everyone else was silent and listening to the teacher. Maybe you did something mischief and everyone is staring at you as if you have done a crime.

There can be more situations like these. So, always remember that there is no need to get Unwanted attention that no one likes.

How to Overcome Shyness at Work?

Some people feel shy to talk to their clients and their colleagues. Don't feel shy because these are the people that you will meet in your daily life cycle. You cannot always run from them. Just like we do not feel shy in front of our family or our friends, Don't be shy at your workplace as well.

Because obviously, you will be meeting them daily. Take Small steps to make your mind feel that "this face is familiar to me." Maybe say Good Morning, Good Afternoon or Good Bye to your colleagues and Clients with a decent smile can help you to build some confidence.

With some time you will generate enough confidence to meet new people as well. Don't be afraid of them. they will not eat you. Remember that you are representing your whole organization and feeling under-confident before your clients and customers will, in turn, have an impact on your overall sales generation.

How to Overcome Shyness Book?

You have got the idea that you should read some books on public skills and communication skills that will help you to overcome your shyness. Well, you are on the right path. Why?

Because these books are often written by Experts which can provide you the best tips and tricks that you can use in order to eliminate all your fears. Here are a few recommendations from Us.


#1: Elevate Yourself:

How to Overcome Shyness

As I said earlier that Shyness may cause due to fear. And the most obvious cause of meeting people in a shy manner is that you think the other person is bigger than you. You think that- "Maybe, I will do some awkward things in front of him/her which will make me look a fool in front of them."

The Other person can be bigger by age, or any quality, maybe he/she would be rich, etc. So, if that's the case with you, then you should use this technique that our favorite superhero Iron Man uses. Yes! Robert Downey Jr. often Jokingly Elevate his status.

This can be pretty effective because you are signaling your sub-conscious mind that you are also a great person and the other people will also not notice it because you would be delivering it in a sarcastic and funny way.

For Eg: When Robert got his award for being the Favourite Superhero, he acknowledged the crowd in a very sarcastic way by jokingly elevating himself. When the crowd was going mad over him, he told in response that-" Yeah, Yeah, I know! I Know!"

See? any other person would start his speech by saying Thank You but instead, Robert was busy in collecting the people's applause. He Jokingly Elevated his status. And by saying this statement, he is showing people that he deserves this award.he is confident and charismatic.

So, if you also feel shy in front of a large audience and group of people then you should try this trick.

Source: Simple Glance (Youtube Channel)

But the major disadvantage of this trick is that If you will overdo it, then there is a serious chance that you may lose your friends' circle. 

You can watch the above video clip to understand the concept.

#2: Start Small:

How to Overcome Shyness

If you feel Shy even before a few people. Then You should start small. What I mean by That?

If you feel Shy in front of 2 people as well, then do not expect from yourself to give a grand speech or a performance on the Stage. This is Common Sense!

First of all, you should start small. That means, first try to communicate with your parents. Now, I know you would say-" I do not feel Shy in front of my Parents."

That's Okay, But I am trying to say here is that you should try to talk to them about your feeling. You should discuss with them what you feel when you meet new people. They will definitely help you. Also, by doing this, you will train yourself on building more conversation.

If you feel shy, then do not focus on yourself or the other person. Focus on the Conversation that is happening between you and the other person.

You do not feel shy in front of your parents. Then that's a great thing. You can try to build a conversation between you and your parent because you do not have to worry that what your parents will think about you?

By doing this as a regular practice, you will surely see changes in your speaking skills.

Other Ways of Starting Small :
  • Watch Videos on Youtube that will help you.
  • Read Blogs on Self Improvement which will, in turn, boost your self-confidence and morale.
  • Improve Communication Skills.
Now, You Would be thinking that -" How can I build Conversation?" We have discussed it in the article below.

Let's move to a few more tips that can help you to Start Small.

#3: Become Socially Active: 

How to Overcome Shyness

If you will run from your fear then there is no way that you will be able to tackle it. So, First, learn to face your fears. Go to group gatherings and take part in discussions to have a good experience to be around people.

If you keep yourself isolated from people you will not be able to Eliminate our fear. So try to participate in small discussions and groups to train yourself properly. Remember that you should start small?

You can use this tip as well in order to climb that ladder that leads to success. Improve your communication skills and build your Emotion Quotient.

#4: Build Self Confidence:

How to Overcome Shyness

You Should Build Self Confidence in order to combat your fear of facing the people. How?

Well, few of the methods that I personally used are:

Practice in Front of Mirror:

What I did was that I regularly practiced Communication Skills and facing people in Virtual World. I would Stand in front of the mirror and I started to Introduce myself and tried to build a conversation, Imagining that the person behind the mirror is not me but someone else.

It seems like a Small Tip but believes it has a great Impact. You can see the change after practicing the tips that I am providing to you.

Don't Focus on Rejections:

You would know that sportsmen face many rejections and mock from the public. People make fun of them in the ground, in Social Media and even some of the people hate them. But, did they stopped playing? No!

They know how to accept criticism. One of the biggest causes of Shyness is that you think that someone will make fun of you in front of others. Be confident enough if such circumstance arises.

My Mother always advises me that If we get irritated by someone's comment then the other person will not stop doing it. Instead hey will encourage themselves and they will make you feel disgraced.

What you have to do is just IGNORE them. Yeah, I know that it seems like a small thing. But, the thing is Ignorance is so powerful. If you Ignore them then they will not make fun of you. They would think that all of their efforts are useless.

Don't Show that you are Shy:

It's your secret and keeps it to yourself. Nowadays people are not supported anymore. So, if feel to share our secret with someone and you think that he/she will help you. Maybe you are wrong.

Don't tell anyone that you are feeling Shy. Yes, you can share it with your family and your best friends. They can help you with that. But don't share it with strangers. As they will know your weakness and they will not miss any opportunity to embarrass you in front of the crowd.

This is a Very Practical yet helpful tip that I personally have experienced.

#5: Build a Conversation:

How to Overcome Shyness

Imagine that you are talking to someone, then the words you use are the beats that you have to put it into the string in order to make a beautiful necklace.

So, try to build a Conversation in a Similar Manner. Shyness can also prevail when you and the other person just stops talking. Then there will be a Conversation break and an awkward silence.

This situation will worsen the case for you. So, If you want to Build a Conversation and you want to build confidence over your public skills, then use these few small tricks.


Smiling can make it or break it. Experts suggest that you should smile when you feel Shy. By doing that, You will also reduce your anxiety and the other person will be chilled out. But, if you overdo it, it may be creepy and it may also look like a peal of nervous laughter. So, whenever you start feeling shy, Just Smile.

No One Word Answers:

Let's Understand this with the help of the conversation that is going between John and Jacob.

John: Hi Jacob! How are You?
Jacob: Fine.
John: Loved your photos that you posted Online. I liked it Very Much.
Jacob: Thanks.


John: Ah, Ya, How are Your Studies going on?
Jacob: Good.
John: Ok. So, What Else?
Jacob: Nothing.
John: Ahm, Ok, Then Bye!
Jacob: Bye.

Did you notice something in this conversation?

Well, John was eager to talk to Jacob but he just replied with only one word. He did not try to build a Conversation. These One Word Replies can ruin the Conversation between you and the other individual.

The Tension will rise and you will start feeling shy. So, if you want to Build Conversations, then do not give one-word replies. Let's look at how Jacob could have built the Conversation.

John: Hi Jacob! How are You?
Jacob: Hi John! I am Fine. What About You?
John: Loved your photos that you posted Online. I liked it Very Much.
Jacob: Thanks. I took it at the right moment when the sun was rising and I was Standing just in front of it. Actually, the whole credit goes to my Sister. Because She was the one who suggested this Idea to me.

John: Great! Well, How are Your Studies going on?
Jacob: Good. I was just completing my assignments from the past few weeks. Still, I have a lot of work to do. What about You?
John:  I didn't even start it yet. I will complete it by next Monday. Then we will together submit it to the professor. Cool?
Jacob: Yup! But you should complete the project on time. Maybe this time, we will win the best Duo Project Award. 
John: Yes, Hope So. Okay, then I am going to start the assignment by today itself. Bye!
Jacob: Ok John, Take Care, Bye!

Give Compliments:

Who Doesn't like Compliments?

Of course, everyone likes it. If you feel shy then I would suggest you, give compliments to the other person in order to build a Conversation. The Golden Tip that I would suggest to do is that if you are too uncomfortable to talk to people. then maybe you should let them talk more.

When they will talk more, you will have to talk less. As a result, you will not feel shy and the only work you have to do is to Build Conversation and just listen to the other person. Maybe Talk about his/her interest etc.

#6: Be Humorous:

How to Overcome Shyness

Admit it! We all love humorous people. Here's a random fact:

Research Shows that being Humourous is a quality of a Confident Person.

Being Humourous does not mean that you should act like a Joker or something. Making people laugh is a quality that very rare people have. You often have heard that making people laugh is a god's gift. But that's not the case.

Comedians that we see on our T.V. sets have practiced the art of humor.

If you feel Shy at work or at school, then you should probably learn this quality. You just have to be humorous and soon you will be able to make new friends. They will like to stay around you because you make them laugh. 

The biggest advantage of being humorous is that you will not have to worry about building a conversation. As it will be on autopilot mode.

If you will try to lighten the moods of the people by making a few jokes and mocks then you will not feel shy. Why? Because then most of your attention would be to make people laugh. Your mind will not focus on your weakness.

This can be your biggest advantage.

How to be Funny or Humourous?

  • Laugh with Others.
  • Be Open-Minded and don't feel bad if in case someone mocks you or makes fun of you.
  • Learn to laugh even in tensed situations. It will help to release the tension in your surroundings.
  • Evaluate the things that make you laugh and share it with your friends.

As I said earlier that this is a Social Age, where everyone wants to meet new people and make new friends.

But don't overdo it because then it may seem like you only insult someone and don't respect them. 

Would they not love a guy or a girl in the group who can lighten the atmosphere by making them a few moments of laughter and joy?

#7: 5 Second Rule:

How to Overcome Shyness

The 7th and the last Tip that will help you to build Self Confidence and Eliminate your fear of Shyness is the Classic 5, Second Rule.

I am Sure that many of you would know this, but just in case if anyone of few doesn't, then here's what it actually is?

The 5 Second Rule states that if you have any fear or you are feeling shy to express yourself or to stand up in front of the class or to just give a presentation, then you can eliminate your fear or your feeling of Shyness unjust 5 Seconds. How?

Well, For Eg: Let's Say that you are in a Classroom and you wish to stand up and answer the question that the teacher asked. But you have that feeling in mind that maybe the teacher or my classmates would laugh at me if I gave the wrong answer. Then you count down 5,4,3,2,1 and just stand up and answer the question.

It's like you are a rocket which is about to take off. And after the countdown, you have no choice but to talk off and fly towards the sky.

So, Whenever you are feeling Shy and you feel awkward to talk to people around you, you can countdown from 5 to 1 and just move your steps towards them and talk to them.

This 5 Second Rule can also help you to Overcome Your Laziness.

For Eg: You are watching Television, lying on your sofa and you know that you have to do important work. But you are too lazy to get up and initiate that task. What you can do is, again count from 5 to 1 and imagine that you are a rocket and launch yourself and sit down on your work desk to do that Job.

It's a Classic method that many Succesful Leaders and Entrepreneurs still use. So, Whenever you feel Shy, Just remember the 5 Second Rule!


Feeling SHY is not a big deal. Everyone feels some sort of shyness if they admit it or not. If you will not face them then you will not be able to overcome this problem as well.

So, in this article, we have shared the 7 Easy Ways to Boost Self Confidence that will help you to combat your shyness and play at your best.

We have also answered some frequently asked question that I bet that you have in your mind.

  • What Causes a Person to be Shy?
  • Is Shyness a Weakness?
  • If I am Shy, Does that mean that I am an Introvert??
  • How to Overcome Shyness at School?
  • How to Overcome Shyness at Work?

Here's a quick recap of all the tips given in this article:
  • Elevate Yourself.
  • Start Small
  • Become Socially Active
  • Build Self Confidence
  • Build a Conversation
  • Be Humorous
  • 5 Second Rule



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